Adoption and College Admissions | Episode 011
Guest: Debbie Schwartz
TIPS
TOP TIPS FROM THIS EPISODE
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Top Tip #5: Teenagers need to form their own identity, which includes separating from parents. Students who joined their families through adoption also need to separate from their birth parents.
Top Tip #4: The college admissions process asks students, “Who am I? Who do I want to be? And how will college help me get there?”
Top Tip #3: Admissions officers may not be familiar with all adoption situations.
Top Tip #2: If you know one adoption, you know one adoption. Every adoption story is unique.
Top Tip #1: Students who joined their family through adoption do not need to write about adoption in their essays unless they want to.
EPISODE
Summary
What does adoption have to do with college admissions—and why might the process feel different for students who joined their families through adoption?
In this episode of The College Talk Show, host Chris Bell talks with college adviser and adoption educator Debbie Schwarz about how adoption can shape a student’s college planning experience in ways that are often overlooked. Drawing on her professional background in adoption education and her work in college admissions, Debbie explains how the normal developmental task of identity formation intersects with the highly public nature of the admissions process.
Together, they explore how questions on applications, expectations around college essays, campus visits, and even routine forms can carry unexpected emotional weight for adopted students. Debbie emphasizes that every adoption story is unique—and that students deserve agency and control over how, or whether, adoption is part of their college narrative.
This conversation offers families, counselors, and students a thoughtful framework for understanding adoption’s role in college planning, while reinforcing a central message: there is no single “right” way for adopted students to approach the admissions process.
GUEST
About The Guest
Debbie Schwarz is the founder of DS College Consulting and an experienced college adviser who brings a unique and deeply informed perspective to the admissions process. In addition to her work in college counseling, Debbie has spent many years as an adoption educator and advocate, including serving with Jewish Family Services of Greenwich and leading adoption-focused programs for families.
Drawing on her professional background in adoption education and her work with students navigating college admissions, Debbie specializes in helping families understand how identity development, personal history, and life experiences intersect with the college planning process. As both an adoptive parent and a longtime professional in the adoption field, she brings thoughtful insight, sensitivity, and clarity to conversations that are often overlooked in traditional admissions advising.
Debbie speaks nationally with adoptive parent groups and school counselors and works closely with students to ensure they have agency, support, and confidence as they move through the college admissions journey.
Learn more at dscolconsulting.com.
Transcript
Episode: Adoption and College Admissions
Guest: Debbie Schwarz, DS College Consulting
Host: Chris Bell
Opening Monologue
Chris Bell:
This show, The College Talk Show, is all about college admissions and heading off to college. Sometimes we talk about topics that apply to every single person. Tonight’s topic may feel more specific, but I’m really looking forward to it.
My guest, Debbie Schwarz, has a way of looking at admissions that actually applies to everyone. And this topic is critical. If you’re someone who joined your family through adoption, I’m especially confident this will be helpful for you.
Announcer Intro
It’s The College Talk Show.
Today’s theme: Adoption and College Admissions.
With special guest Debbie Schwarz.
And now, here’s your host—Chris Bell.
Guest Introduction
Chris Bell:
Welcome back. As I said, I’m so happy to have Debbie Schwarz here. She’s the founder of DS College Consulting, an experienced college adviser, and an adoptive parent who brings a thoughtful, personal perspective to the admissions process.
I’m really glad she’s here to help us explore what adoption can mean for students as they head to college. Debbie, thank you so much for joining me.
Debbie Schwarz:
Chris, thanks for having me.
Debbie’s Background and Perspective
Chris Bell:
Let’s start with your story. What inspired you to focus on the intersection of adoption and college admissions?
Debbie Schwarz:
It’s interesting, because while I am a parent by adoption, that’s not actually how I came to understand this connection. For many years, I worked for Jewish Family Services of Greenwich as an adoption educator. I also served as co-president of a chapter of the Adoptive Parents Committee in the New York metropolitan area and was on its board of governors.
I founded and directed a program called Forever Families Weekend, which ran for many years and served Jewish families touched by adoption. So really, it was through my professional work in adoption that I came to understand, once I returned to the world of college admissions, that there’s a strong connection between what adopted students experience and what all teenagers go through developmentally—especially during the admissions process.
Identity Development and Adoption
Debbie Schwarz:
If you remember your psychology or sociology classes, you might recall Erikson’s stages of development. One of the key developmental tasks of adolescence is identity formation, which largely happens through separating from parents.
The college admissions process asks teenagers to do that identity work very publicly. Applications essentially ask students to say: “Here’s who I am. Here’s who I want to be. And here’s how your college will help me get there.”
For students who joined their family through adoption, there’s an additional layer. Not only are they separating from their parents, but they’re also separating—emotionally—from their birth parents. Even if they never knew their birth parents, or only know them as an idea, that separation still requires emotional work.
That realization is what led me to start thinking, writing, and speaking about the overlay of adoption on the college admissions process.
How Adoption Can Shape the College Process
Chris Bell:
In what ways can adoption shape a student’s college planning process—academically, emotionally, or logistically?
Debbie Schwarz:
There are many ways. One example is the pressure around essays—whether a student should write about adoption, or whether others expect them to. Sometimes parents feel adoption is the most important story, even when it may not be the story the student wants to tell.
Transracial adoption can also add complexity. A student may not share race or ethnicity with their parents, and during college visits, people may make assumptions or comments that feel uncomfortable or inappropriate.
You might also have a student who was born abroad but raised in a family and community that doesn’t reflect that background. For example, a student adopted from China who grew up in a white family may not identify with Asian culture, yet others may assume they do.
Even standard forms—like the Common App or FAFSA—can include questions that feel triggering. A simple question like “Where were you born?” can be emotionally complicated depending on where a student is in processing their adoption story.
And as adoption expert Betty Jean Lifton famously said, “If you know one adoption, you know one adoption.” Every experience is unique.
Practical and Logistical Considerations
Chris Bell:
Are there specific complexities students or families should be aware of?
Debbie Schwarz:
Yes. For example, students adopted from foster care may be eligible for additional benefits or financial aid support, depending on their circumstances.
Even seemingly straightforward application questions can create stress. It’s important to recognize that what looks simple on paper may carry emotional weight for a student.
Writing About Adoption in Essays
Chris Bell:
How do you guide students in deciding whether to write about adoption in their essays?
Debbie Schwarz:
Researcher Sharon Kaplan Roszia identified seven core issues in adoption, which provide a helpful framework for understanding how adoption can intersect with college admissions.
One of those core issues is mastery and control. For adopted individuals, aspects of identity were decided before they had any say. Because of that, it’s especially important that students feel ownership and control in the admissions process.
Writing about adoption must be their choice. Supporting adults need to respect that.
Advice for Adopted Students Starting the College Process
Chris Bell:
What advice would you give a student who joined their family through adoption and is just beginning to think about college?
Debbie Schwarz:
In many ways, the advice is the same for all students: do the emotional work of figuring out who you are, who you want to be, and how to get there.
For adopted students, there’s an added layer of understanding identity in relation to both their parents and their birth parents—even if that separation is theoretical.
How to Find Debbie Schwarz
Chris Bell:
If someone wants to get in touch with you, how can they find you?
Debbie Schwarz:
The easiest way is through my website: dscolconsulting.com. There’s a contact link there. I also speak with adoptive parent groups and school counselors around the country and am happy to continue those conversations.
Sponsor Message
This episode is brought to you by Bell College Consulting.
Visit bellcollegeconsulting.com to learn more.
Top Tips: College Admissions and Adoption
Chris Bell:
Now it’s time for a summary of today’s key points—Top Tips.
Top Tip #5: Teenagers need to form their own identity, which includes separating from parents. Students who joined their families through adoption also need to separate from their birth parents.
Top Tip #4: The college admissions process asks students, “Who am I? Who do I want to be? And how will college help me get there?”
Top Tip #3: Admissions officers may not be familiar with all adoption situations.
Top Tip #2: If you know one adoption, you know one adoption. Every adoption story is unique.
Top Tip #1: Students who joined their family through adoption do not need to write about adoption in their essays unless they want to.
Closing
And that’s our episode on college admissions for students who joined their families through adoption.
Thank you again to Debbie Schwarz.
And remember: College is Awesome.